The Common Shrew

I Got Life

2012-02-20T21:11:00.000+10:00

Heard this today for the first time in ages. Nothing more to say.

Zumba!

2012-01-24T12:06:00.001+10:00

I am feeling extremely virtuous having put phase 1 of The Return in place by going to a 1-hour Zumba class.

I managed to keep up with the class for the entire hour!

The teacher commented that she saw me smiling so she knew I was having fun .... little did she know that as I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and my sight returned I was able to read the sign in multicoloured letters out the front of the hall.... it said

JESUS!

I couldn't have put it better myself.

This is one of the numbers we do and this is what I look like .... not (but watch this space!)

The Common Shrew: The Return... no more worms. Now where was I?

2012-01-24T11:48:00.001+10:00

Yes, Dear Reader, the Shrew has returned!

She has fought bravely back, through rain (leaking roof) and shine (skin cancer), dog attacks and domestic insanity, with all its attendant insomnia and penury, not to mention the compensatory consumption of kilos of The Shingle Inn's excellent White Christmas.

But now be warned!

THE SHREW IS BACK


Eating worms at http://www.arkive.org/common-shrew/sorex-araneus/image-A15182.html

Lovely Weather for Frogs!

2011-02-16T11:39:00.001+10:00

New life in all the wild weather in Queensland. At least the frogs are happy. (See the post for 29 December 2010.)

The tadpoles are enjoying their daily meal of boiled lettuce, and seem to be coming along nicely, although at different speeds.

Here's a shot of the tadpolarium, complete with toad-proofing and frog launchpad ...

... and here's a finished tree frog, now back happily snoozing somewhere in the showery garden

Brisbane Floods 2011

2011-01-16T14:00:00.000+10:00

Tammy ( Salvation Army) & Rev Tanya (St Catherine's Anglican Church) Middle Park
tell Wiza she's welcome!

For this and more positive flood stories and pictures go to

squeegee!

at

http://brissqueegee.blogspot.com/

Brisbane Floods January 11 2011

2011-01-11T20:43:00.000+10:00

The river rises

in ones and twos

ahead of the long night

we come to stare at the river

impotent

we shrug on

a semblance of science

we toss around heights and peaks

and over-ground flow

to affect a nonchalance

while this greedy

wrong-shaped thing

spreads its bloated sides

towards our homes

in ones and twos we come

to stare at the river

we watch the eddies

and look aside

it isn't wise

to catch the river's eye

The Joy of Words

2011-01-05T09:27:00.005+10:00

Sadly, 'sconce' and 'anaglypta' are out the window and 'lay-flat fluming' has now been supplanted in my affections by a new piece of terminology, to whit : wippen flange.

As anyone who has labored hard to write a poem about things musical could tell you, (and quite a few people already knew but never mentioned it to me) this is the name of part of the action of a piano.

It appeals as having some potential as a term of abuse.

Apparently I'm not alone in liking these words. Have a look at these covers from what seems to have been a pretty ephemeral magazine - wippen flange covers - or maybe it was just a construct in the artist's mind? Who knows?

I'd certainly LIKE to know ...

Here is the wippen flange in its natural habitat. Is it just me, or do they look like cute cartoon legs and feet?

'On the left is a classic example of a spinet piano wippen with plastic flange, back check,

and jack. This one should have a whole new wippen, not piece meal.'

(I'm glad we cleared that up - TCS)

You can find this at 'Plastic piano parts crisis', in The Piano Owner's Survival Guide. which in itself gives a whole new perspective on the term 'crisis'.

Oh, I could go on all day.

Girly Fun : No. 14 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2011-01-01T01:00:00.009+10:00

Bathing belles, including The Shrew's mother, aunts and grandmother, in the 1920s.

Since it is the New Year, The Common Shrew brings you this resolution-worthy 'Harmless Hobby'.

Apparently a traditional value in the Shrew family, having girly fun is in line with such admirable resolves as 'Not Letting Life pass one by', 'Sharing a Smile' and 'Committing Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty'.

So, to carry us all bravely into 2011, 'Girly Fun' it is.

Oh, and as the photo shows, brave boys can join in too.

Good for the Gardens ....

2010-12-28T14:11:00.044+10:00

Today the sky is lightening up a little here in Brisbane, and we are so far not badly affected by floods, so I can take a deep breath and be somewhat philosophical about the recent never ending downpour.

In The Shrew's garden, apart from the frogs mentioned in the previous post (yes, the tadpoles are coming on nicely, thanks) there are quite a few things that love the rain.

Here are some of them:

the self-sown pumpkin vine,

the ginger curcuma roseoana, with its beautiful velvety leaves, (and the dracaena, behind it)

and the red cage fungus, clathrus ruber, otherwise known as the basket stinkhorn. I found out why it has this name when I took its photo .... . you can see more about this weird and wonderful fungus here.

"I think the true gardener, the older he grows,

should more and more develop

a humble, grateful and uncertain spirit."

~Reginald Farrer, In a Yorkshire Garden, 1909

The Gift that Keeps On Giving

2010-12-26T17:13:00.003+10:00

THE SMILING DONOR : Green Tree Frog, Litoria caerulea Pavel German © Australian Museum

here

Whew, that's Christmas over for another year - apart from the hungry cries of retailers who have forgotten which Dickens book they are supposed to be in. No, sorry,it's not 'Oliver Twist' (please sir I want some more) except that they forgot to say 'please', but the message of Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol' that they should be keeping in mind.

If you look here you'll find a poem called December 26 about the things that Santa forgot, on the wonderful American Public Media Writer's Almanac page.

But this year my favourite present was a generous dollop of frog-spawn, kindly left for me on Christmas Eve by a visiting frog.

She must have known that my goldfish recently went to the Great Weedy Pond In The Sky ... already I can see the eggs changing from fullstops into tiny commas ...

... and 'I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?'

All I have to say about Christmas 2010

2010-12-08T09:30:00.041+10:00

Holy Meerkat Family!

O.K. I was going to post a photo of a woman having hysterics in a shopping mall,
but I couldn't get anyone to come close enough to hold the camera.

So, anticipating next Year's New Year's resolutions,
I have resolved to let my nice side shine through.

So here's the sweetest thing you'll get from me until ... oh, quite some time, probably.

See more meerkats and make them your own at http://www.etsy.com/shop/niftyknits

Something to say: Glenn Gould

2010-12-01T10:50:00.003+10:00

I went recently to see 'Genius Within', a moving and profoundly engaging documentary about this fascinating artist.

Despite perhaps reaching less far than his heart-breaking music, his incisive remarks about art certainly merit revisiting by those of us who like to write, among others.

Here's a sample... in this excellent video by pOlyphOny , whose work can be found at http://www.youtube.com/user/p0lyph0ny

Outspoken Australian Woman made a Saint

2010-11-08T11:11:00.004+10:00

That's Mary MacKillop, now known as St Mary of the Cross, sculpted by John Elliott in St Stephen's Cathedral, Brisbane.

Not an inappropriate name, given her history and the attempts of perverted and conniving priests to make this courageous and unswerving woman go away - but when did the Catholic Church ever demonstrate any great regard for the work of women or the welfare of children?

Here's what Ynes Sanz wrote about her in Fanny the Flying Housewife & other stories, 2009.

Two Marys

Mary Helen MacKillop, also known as Saint Mary of the Cross 1842 — 1909

i St Stephen's Cathedral, Brisbane

come away

from the frankincense

and chasubles

in a dim-lit chapel

stone walls chisel-ticked

enclose a stillness

inhale this new scent

calling up old linen

and young women's dreams

behind a rood-screen

of scribbled tree slabs

is a sanctuary

imbued with the spirit

of camphor laurel

one hundred years in growing

a figure looms from a plinth

no-eyes becoming eyes

under your grateful gaze

woman and tree both

wild and problematical

stout beauty at their heart

light a candle for her

and see in its flicker

Mary striding on

ii St Francis' Church Melbourne

For the poet's daughter, artist, 1970 —

Here Friends,

we see the Blesséd Mary,

aloft against a creamy ground,

flowers at her feet,

in the niche where we placed her,

waiting for the day

that she becomes a saint.

You may be surprised

at her meek demeanour

and downcast eyes,

but we like to remember

a compliant heart

may be found even

inside a rebel breast.

We see in her statue

a symbol of Women's

Work in worship.

See the fine detail

made by our master sculptor.

Note the work in the gilded crucifix

woodgrained rosary and

simple prayer book

so skilfully painted as if worn with constant use.

What's that you say?

The statue's painter

was a woman?

No I was not aware,

but come, let me show you,

head-high to your right,

another of the Church's

treasured works of art.

Declaiming: No. 13 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-08-17T07:37:00.002+10:00

Tempted to give it a try? Here's a suitable specimen - but it's up to you to find the appropriate wind-swept battlement or tragic riverbank ...

Oooh to be McGonagall's Lovechild

for William Topaz McGonagall

Oooch! To be the lovechild of William McGonagall and Julia A. Moore,

Those idiosyncratic and misunderstood souls who lived in times they would doubtless have referred to as yore:

Yes! The Sweet Singer of Michigan and the bard of the beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay

Whose reputations are regrettably tinged with derision to this very day.

As to scansion, it is true that their grasp could be said to equal that of a wet cat on a slate rooftop

As if, in building a head of poetic steam, they found it too painful to stop.

With no small cost to euphony and a regrettable tendency, most of the time

To abandon cadence for the sake of a half-broken rhyme,

But never let it be said in this fair land that the passion that flowed in their pages

Failed to engorge the imagination and mesmerise the mind, even of hitherto unswayable sages.

And so I proclaim to the world that, on this basis alone,

These two remarkable literary nightingales should be shown

To thrones of glory flanking the enrobed marbly thighs of sacred Euterpe the muse,

While the rest of us, fettered and unworthy, can only shake our heads and kneel at their shoes.

Bats

2010-08-01T10:48:00.010+10:00

A suitable subject, you might think, for a mad old bag. This picture shows a Black Flying Fox (pteropus alecto), otherwise known as the fruit bat.

These beautiful animals leave their safe roosts up in tall trees to visit gardens (see previous post) and street trees, where they will feed and squabble. They search for their food of fruit, blossoms and nectar, using sharp eyes and good sense of smell.

night walk

fruit bat beats the air

with drum skin wings

I often see a stream of them trailing high over the suburbs against the dusk sky when I'm out walking with the hound.

You can find out more about the bats of Brisbane and the people who care for them here: at Bat Care Brisbane.

August is a cruel month

2010-08-01T09:51:00.004+10:00

I never could easily bring myself to cut back and prune like the garden experts say, and having inherited a garden with some injudicious planting by a previous occupant, those 'nice little hedge plants' are now rearing horrors 6 metres tall with hidden spines and yellow berries that seem to have a purgative effect on flying foxes. 'Sheena's Gold!' Hah! If I ever get my hands on that Sheena I'll ... but I digress.

The plants I have put in have mostly stayed amenable, (with the exception of an olive tree which I allowed to grow to some 5 metres high, in a moment of inattention brought on by my expectations that it would stay looking like those charming specimens that adorn Greek hillsides - and this in sub-tropical Queensland!)

Fortunately, even at my advanced age, I am capable of learning from my mistakes. I have found that I can more readily hack the poor things about if I don't have to brutally squash all of the trimmings into the garden bag.

So my reward for hard-hearted horticulture? A lovely display of grevillea prunings!

Flashmobbing: No. 12 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-07-06T17:27:00.062+10:00

Forget all those people suddenly gathering, unheralded, to walk invisible dogs, manifest like zombies or pay tribute to some unsavoury dead pop star... forget those people in undies on that commuter train somewhere in deepest America, who thankfully disappear as quickly as they came ... the real Flash Mob originated with wicked women convicts at the 'Female factory' in Tasmania, Australia :-

'The Flash Mob was a sub-culture of the female convicts, most noticeably in the female factories.
Bethell referred to the Flash Mob in his writings about the LAUNCESTON FEMALE FACTORY in The Story of Port Dalrymple.

There was, however, a hard core of those who were irreclaimable. They were known as the "Flash Mob" and, if rumour spoke true, owing to the negligence of turnkeys they often slipped out of the factory at night to roam the town. However badly these women behaved, little could be done to punish them. Arthur had abolished the spiked iron collar, common in Sorell's day, and had substituted a yellow garb and the shearing of the hair. This punishment, though unpopular, had little effect.

James Bonwick, in his Curious Facts of Old Colonial Days, gives us a Hogarthian word-picture of these women, of the horrors of the sea-voyage and of their moral abandonment. In the factories, he says, the atmosphere was polluted by the fumes of tobacco-smoke and the walls echoed with the shrieks of passion, peals of foolish laughter and oaths of common converse.

OK all you Mad Old Bags out there (that's MOBs right?) - no need to act as if we're still prisoners, maybe it's time to get out there and galvanise the gals into a bit of whatever takes your fancy ... mass yellow garb wearing? foolish laughing? Perhaps reclaiming the spiked collar and shearing of the hair might be taking things a leetle bit too far ...better steer clear of the oaths too, we don't want to get arrested.

Just remember the Shrew says 'if you can't keep it nice, keep it legal .' (These ARE Harmless Hobbies, after all.)

The wonderful illustration (above) gives you a bit of an idea. It's from the MyWord Tasmania site. Why not go there and purchase your own print and get your official yellow convict garb too!

A Great day for the Girrls!

2010-06-24T13:19:00.006+10:00

CONGRATULATIONS JULIA GILLARD! FIRST AUSTRALIAN WOMAN PRIME MINISTER!

The Common Shrew says to all our daughters and grand-daughters ' I told you girls can do anything! '

Meanwhile, the Wiz says 'I just can't put my paw on it, but I really like the look of that woman!'

Badger-fondling: No. 11 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-06-23T19:23:00.002+10:00

So? You had a better suggestion?

'Poetry is the shadow cast by our streetlight imaginations' *

2010-06-19T14:12:00.015+10:00

She may not have the sweater, but take it from the Shrew, Ynes Sanz' recitation of 'sixty-nine' comes close!

After all, she was reading *Ferlinghetti in the fifties when you weren't maybe even a twinkle in your bread-stashin' Daddy's eye ...

So get yourself to Riverbend for Poetry on the deck June 22!

You can make a booking here.

Bloomsday 2010

2010-06-16T16:58:00.005+10:00

The Common Shrew is proud to celebrate her birthday on Bloomsday.

Here's a photo of young Molly Bloom, in the shade of an olive tree in the Alameida Gardens,
Gibraltar, rushing home late to a scolding after an assignation under the fig trees.

Here's to embracing life and here's to us all on such a day in the writer's year.

Poetry on the Deck, Riverbend Books Bulimba

2010-06-10T19:10:00.016+10:00

Come out and support your local poets!

night after night i have written poetry for you
on your typewriter
and this big brute of a rat who used to be a poet
comes out of his hole when it is done
and reads it and sniffs at it
he is jealous of my poetry
he used to make fun of me when we were both human
he was a punk poet himself
and after he reads it he sneers
and then he eats it

-archy the cockroach - Don Marquis,archy and mehitabel

Queensland Poetry Festival is proud to partner with Queensland Writers Centre and Riverbend Books to present the Riverbend Poetry Series, A State of Writing initiative.

Now in its fifth year, the Riverbend Poetry Series has inspired, entertained and delighted audiences again in 2010.

The date for your diary: Tuesday June 22

Queensland Poetry Festival, QLD Writers Centre & Riverbend Books are proud to present the final event in the Riverbend Poetry Series for 2010. Join us on the Riverbend deck as we launch the 2010 QLD Poetry Festival Program with readings from three of this year's programmed artists: award winning poet Ynes Sanz, rhyme-spitting word-dynamo Darkwing Dubs and the soulfully elegant Suzanne Jones.

And as this is the final event for 2010, we are going out with a bang, launching ‘A Million Bright Things' CD which captures some of the best readings and performances from QPF 2009. To launch the CD, members of the QPF Committee and some of the featured local talent will read a selection of poems from the CD. Indeed, this is going to be a gig not to be missed!

Bookings are essential and can be made by contacting Riverbend Books. Ticket price includes sushi and a glass of wine. All events begin at 6.30pm.

Date: Tuesday 22 June

Location: Riverbend Books, 193 Oxford St. Bulimba

Time: Doors open for the event at 6pm for a 6:30pm start

Tickets: $10 available through Riverbend Books and include sushi and complimentary wine. To purchase tickets, call Riverbend Books on (07) 3899 8555 (07) 3899 8555 or book online at www.riverbendbooks.com.au

These events are always hugely popular, so book early to avoid disappointment!

Nigel's Nightie: No. 2 in an occasional series entitled 'Smokin' Jackets'

2010-06-02T08:25:00.012+10:00

OK I know there's some prestidigitation involved in this peignoir but the chance of a guest appearance from celebrity like Nigel from Life with Dogs was just too tempting!

The Wiz had been hoping for a green velvet number with a cravat, but a dog can dream (as long as it doesn't involve too much howling and those annoying running movements with the legs !)

Wiza warmer : No.1 in an occasional series entitled 'Smokin' Jackets'.

2010-05-29T09:21:00.011+10:00

'You can judge a society by the way it treats its animals' - Gandhi.

.. and you can sort of judge our society by the way some of its people treat some of their animals.

In this occasional series, you're invited to admire some of the best of them, in all their sartorial splendour ... or was that silliness? Leave a comment if you want to submit a photo of your best-dressed greyhound in an excellent bed-jacket, and the Shrew will put the best on the blog.

NB. No 'fancy dress' (and try to keep the fluff bunnies out of those bedrooms shots, she may be 'Common' but an old girl has her standards!)

May Day 2010: The words of an unknown worker and unionist

2010-05-04T09:16:00.019+10:00

WE HAVE FED YOU ALL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

We have fed you all for a thousand years
And you hail us still unfed
Though there’s never a dollar of all your wealth
But marks the workers dead
We have yielded our best to give you rest
And you lie on crimson wool
But if blood be the price of all your wealth
Good God we have paid in full

There is never a mine blown skyward now
But we’re buried alive for you
There’s never a wreck drifts shoreward now
But we are its ghastly crew
Go reckon our dead by the forges red
And the factories where we spin
If blood be the price of your cursed wealth
Good God we have paid it in

We have fed you all for a thousand years
For that was our doom, you know
From the days when you chained us in your fields
To the strike a week ago
You have taken our lives, and our babies and wives
And we’re told it’s your legal share
But if blood be the price of your lawful wealth
Good God we bought it fair.

Juggling: No. 10 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-04-21T20:30:00.008+10:00

Juggling is Good For You.

Don't just take my word for it, though - have a look here.
Now that brain training by on-line problem solving has been trashed, it's apparently back to the asbestos mitts for those of us who want to keep the synapses supple ... but I think those bad grey socks should definitely go.

STOP PRESS: BRISBANE POET SHORTLISTED FOR ABR POETRY PRIZE

2010-03-31T15:10:00.009+10:00

Announced in the April 2010 edition of the Australian Book Review, this year's five
shortlisted poets' names and entries can be found on the ABR website.

The winner will be announced in the May edition.

ABR Shortlisted Brisbane Poet Ynes Sanz.

Poppies in the Gardens

2010-03-27T07:57:00.007+10:00

Click to see details of this special event in the symbolic Freedom Wall pavilion at

Brisbane's Mt Coot-tha Botanic Gardens.

A bit of a Song and Dance

2010-03-26T12:34:00.009+10:00

If you're in Brisbane, you might consider the invitation on this flyer ....

A few clicks on the image will let you see the fine print ... and the splendid dancer.

Thespianism: No. 9 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-03-14T11:49:00.010+10:00

Some of us were in Alice in Wonderland before Johnny Depp was born.....

Seen here, the Chislehurst Road Infants' School, Orpington, Kent, England
performance, c. 1954.

CAST LIST:
Gail Foster - Alice
Marian Wiseman - The March Hare
Leslie Adams - The Dormouse
and David Something-or-other that I have forgotten (the teachers only shouted his first name) as The Mad Hatter

No green screen for us, it was one night only and if you froze you were finished.

Don't make 'em like that any more.

Sainthood, Statues and the 'Patience' of a Saint

2010-02-26T09:14:00.024+10:00

Mary MacKillop has been announced as Australia's first saint by the Vatican.
Australian Broadcasting Corporation Broadcast: 19/02/2010
Reporter: Ticky Fullerton

Transcript
TICKY FULLERTON, PRESENTER: The Vatican announced a short while ago that Mary McKillop will become Australia's first saint. Pope Benedict revealed tonight that she will be canonised at a ceremony in October in Rome.Mary McKillop founded the Sisters of Saint Joseph in 1866. She is revered by Catholics for setting up schools in remote country areas and working with children, female prisoners and prostitutes.

PAUL COLLINS, HISTORIAN & CATHOLIC COMMENTATOR: I have described her as a great Australian sheila. Now, that's perhaps a rather crude phrase, but nevertheless, I think it sums up the type of person that she is: a practical person, a person who saw a real social need, who saw the children in the bush particularly needed education and culture and she organised a group of sisters to be able to meet that need.

TICKY FULLERTON: She was beatified by Pope John Paul II in 1995. Last year the Vatican accepted that blessed Mary had performed a miracle involving the healing of a person suffering from cancer. Mary McKillop had a controversial life and at one stage was excommunicated from the Church for allegedly disobeying authorities. However, she continued to spend her life caring for the poor.

The Common Shrew says that's as may be. You can read what a poet of her acquaintance had to say on the subject on the occasion of her canonisation at the post for 11 August 2010.

The Poetry of the Winter Olympics

2010-02-13T15:25:00.016+10:00

No I don't just mean the poetry, I mean the poetry. Up there at the opening ceremony! Acclaimed by that huge crowd and seen the world over, Canadian poet Shane L. Koyczan, the nicest guy anyone could wish to meet, a man who can reduce even the most hard-boiled old bag to tears with a line, as I know from personal experience, having mc'd his gig at a Queensland Poetry Festival!

Poetry - on the world stage !!

and you can hear that poem - right here

and here, from his website, at http://www.houseofparlance.com/koyczan/index.html is another small example of the reason why

6:59 AM

I’ve been told

that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day

but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I will have done enough
and killed no one
in the process.

- Shane Koyczan, Visiting Hours

and there was kd lang, too singing Leonard Cohen, and suddenly I thought, yeah, all right, I DO belong in this world!

... and so I say to the vast majority who perplex and perturb my life day after day, in the immortal words of Shane L. Koyczan:

"stop it
write me a poem to make me happy"

Well, hit me with a hot ukulele!

2010-02-04T21:22:00.008+10:00

I did warn you that an attack of ukuleles was imminent!

The Euphonious Ukulele : No. 8 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2010-01-16T10:31:00.008+10:00

Well thank goodness the end-of-year kerfuffle and dust has settled.

It's time to get down to the serious pursuit of idleness again.
Not mere half-assed insouciant idleness, but idleness enhanced
by a rich tapestry of hobbies, that is.

And so for your delectation I bring you the ukulele, an instrument
named for 'a jumping flea'.

You have not heard the last of this, dear reader.

Meanwhile, to get you used to the idea, you may like to
contemplate this 1916 postcard, sourced from http://www.janesoceania.com

The Patented Antidote for Seasonal Insanity

2009-11-27T18:24:00.016+10:00

OK I''ll admit it, the previous post was so premature as to risk seeming malicious.
Blame the sea of earlier-than-ever pre-Christmas hype in which I am sinking.

In an effort to atone I offer the following cartoon as an antidote:
( a simple click will render it visible, dear reader)

You may see more of the like wit at the Patented Wondermark

What! Christmas in November? Ha! greyhounds don't follow calendars either ...

2009-11-26T10:42:00.005+10:00

Well, 12th night has come and gone, so the cheesy Christmas-musical greyhound elf-dance has been turned off for this year, but don't despair, I'm sure I'll find something equally tacky to post in 12 months' time .....

Gladrags from Bags : No. 7 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2009-11-19T21:17:00.023+10:00

Ladies, ever wondered how to clean up those bags AND look chic on a budget?

Well here's your answer.

Cathy Kasdan knitted these amazing garments out of discarded plastic bags!

These and other examples of one woman's plastic fantastic at the artist's website. http://www.cathykasdan.com/

November is Orchid time

2009-11-08T23:02:00.003+10:00

Yep orchids from my garden to my table has this lady dancing! Sorry, folks, you'll just have to imagine their delicate melon-y perfume. Enjoy!

The Secret Gardener

2009-09-15T13:33:00.009+10:00

Yippee! With Spring truly sprung and the first rains bringing out the snails, it's good to have seen this beautiful creature a few times and know that I have back-up in the garden.

Can't see it yet? What you're looking for is the Blue-tongued Skink. Its scientific name is Tiliqua scincoides. This 25cm lizard likes to wander round gardens in the daytime finding many different things to eat, including fruit, flowers, eggs and snails.

Here it is in a more assertive moment ...

Happy Spring!

2009-09-02T10:39:00.009+10:00

Printemps - Marc Chagall

Yes, it's Spring in the Southern hemisphere.

All over Brisbane, dogs with short memories are being startled by bluetongue lizards, viruses are raising their tiny heads and soon, all kinds of large black and white birds will begin to swoop on human beings who will respond by drawing eyeballs on their hats in a vain attempt to deter them.

Make of it all what you will.

Ecological Crochet: No. 6 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2009-08-09T09:27:00.009+10:00

Photos © The IFF by Alyssa Gorelick.

This and other similar mathematical and ecological humdingers of handcraft at the wonderfully-named Institute for Figuring .

Go there! Prepare to be amazed!

Crazy like a baboon

2009-08-05T08:33:00.012+10:00

Women in red drive men crazy, says study

Tuesday, 28 October 2008 Will Dunham, Reuters

Men find women in red more sexually attractive, say US psychologists, confirming it really is the colour of romance.

Professor Andrew Elliot and Dr Daniela Niesta of the University of Rochester, New York report their findings in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Men rated a woman shown in photographs as more sexually attractive if she was wearing red clothing or if she was shown in an image framed by a red border rather than some other colour, says Elliot.

He says although this "red alert" may be a product of human society associating red with love for eons, it also may arise from more primitive biological roots.

Noting the genetic similarity of humans to higher primates, he says scientists have shown that certain male primates are especially attracted to females of their species displaying red.

For example, female baboons and chimpanzees show red colouring when nearing ovulation, sending a sexual signal that the males apparently find irresistible.

"It could be this very deep, biologically based automatic tendency to respond to red as an attraction cue given our evolutionary heritage," says Elliot.

The study involved more than 100 men, mostly college undergraduates, who were shown pictures of women and asked to rate how pretty they were, how much the men would like to kiss them and how much the men would like to have sex with them.

Men were shown a woman, with some of the pictures bordered in red and some bordered in white, grey or green.

Even though it was the same picture of the same woman, when she was framed in red the men rated her as more attractive than when she was bordered by another colour.

Men were then shown photographs of a woman that were identical except that the researchers digitally made her shirt red in some versions or blue in others. And once again, the men strongly favoured the woman in red.

The men also were asked, "Imagine that you are going on a date with this person and have $100 in your wallet. How much money would you be willing to spend on your date?" When she was clad in red, the men said they would spend more money on her.

The researchers noted that the colour red did not alter how men rated the women in the photographs in terms of likability, intelligence or kindness - only attractiveness.

The researchers then had a group of young women rate whether the pictured woman was pretty. Red had no impact on whether women rated other women as pretty, they found.

Gay men and colour-blind men were excluded from the study.

Source http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/?site=science

Looking, looking

2009-07-29T10:39:00.006+10:00

I would have included 'dress-ups' in my 'Harmless Hobby' series, but I didn't like the look of those asps!

Yep, tell Theda Bara she can stop looking, she's in Fanny the Flying Housewife & other stories too!

Her poem's in the previous post.

Shameless Self-Promotion

2009-07-09T22:54:00.023+10:00

WHO WAS

FANNY the FLYING

HOUSEWIFE ?

A sample can be found in an earlier post about Josephine Baker, & here are another couple to tempt you ... but that's all, now you'll just have to borrow a copy from a Brisbane Library or request your own for the paltry sum of $AUD20 by posting a suitably grovelling message!

'Kiss me, My Fool'

Theda Bara, silent film actress, 1885 — 1955

she spoke not one word

in a dozen years on the screen

this all-new 1914 model

for a Hollywood tired

of sweet innocence

the original vamp

woman as bloodsucker

eyes like smudgepots

let her studio bosses

promote a Cincinnati girl

as a Middle Eastern Beauty

and hint that her name was

an anagram of 'arab death'

instead of short for

Theodosia (God's gift)

this clever girl

knew just what to reveal

and what to veil

always let the text

do the talking

Persistence of vision

Olive Cotton, Photographer, 1911 — 2003

no snapshot for the life

of a woman who never stopped

framing images in her mind's eye

in twenty years away from the darkroom

a tent her first chosen home

with laughing children playing

in a dry creek bed

deep in the backlit bush

a woman with suitcases

filled with negatives

watching for the moment

when the sky was just right

who never thought to see the day

she'd step out of the shadow

set galleries aglow

indirect light still eloquent under her hands

and focus deep enough

to illuminate a soul

Spot the Dog

2009-06-24T18:22:00.007+10:00

Spot the difference between these two shots.

That's right. The muzzled dog in the left-hand shot is revealed as .... just a mild-mannered hound.

Hooray for the Queensland Government (and don't expect to see that kind of sentiment too often in these posts).

Recognizing the true nature of these noble hounds, as from July 1, 2009, all Greyhound Adoption Programme greyhounds will be muzzle-free in their official green collars in The Sunshine State. No longer will the parents of small children or other nervous passers-by draw back in fear on seeing a muzzle as this gentle creature approaches happily anticipating pats.

As to the desirability of muzzling her owner - Aah! That's a different matter entirely.

The Musical Saw: No. 5 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2009-06-19T11:06:00.008+10:00

Ladies, want to while away the time in mellifluous bliss? Look no further!

Rub that resin! 'Amaze your friends'! If it was Good Enough for Dietrich,
(and we all know how versatile she was ....) it's good enough for us

...and while we're on the subject : Hints on Sleeping with Animals

2009-06-05T08:15:00.012+10:00

(Yes, I'm sure we have all had this kind of experience at some time in our lives, Virginia, but let us never speak of it again.)

Now, here for your delectation and edification are two items which may prove useful.

First, the Good News:

Pets Stay Vigilant While You Snore On

( Click to enlarge this Arnie Levin cartoon from a well-thumbed
New Yorker Cartoon Album - find more here)

Now for the Warnings:

"How to Spend a Two Dog Night

I will address myself mostly to the rules for sleeping with two dogs. For the few who have already mastered this technique, I will later add a cat, although I urge beginners to leave the cat out.

To achieve any sort of success, certain arbitrary conditions must be assumed, the first one being that you must have a king-sized bed. There is no point in lying down in anything smaller. While the size of the breed of dog is not important (people who sleep with dogs know that before the night is over everybody collects into a pile), the condition of the dogs may be. Very thin dogs, for example, are lumpier.

I have selected the two-dog minimum because, as we shall see, it is the only way to stay in bed at all. The key word here is LEVERAGE.

All dogs spend the night pressed tightly against their human bedfellows, but no two dogs ever sleep on the same side. This is, in part, an expression of the "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie Principle". It is also to create leverage.

Because the human being is always in the middle, held tightly in place by the dogs and by his blanket (which the dogs are sleeping on top of), restlessness and recurring cramps are difficult to handle. Here is the tip: When you first lie down, AND BEFORE THE DOGS SETTLE AGAINST EACH SIDE OF YOU, spread your legs three inches apart. Stiffen and hold out NO MATTER HOW GREAT THE PRESSURE! When the time comes to turn over, bring the legs together quickly under the now slightly slackened blanket and revolve BEFORE THE DOGS WAKE UP.

As soon as you have assumed a new position, allow for those crucial three inches again; otherwise, you're a mummy for the rest of the night.

NEVER SPREAD THE LEGS MORE THAN THREE INCHES!

A dog's favorite place to sleep is in the hollow created by legs too widely spread, and once settled, he and you are frozen into position until morning. (There is a way out of this trap, but it is difficult to describe without slides). Dogs who prefer to sleep on their backs MUST BE GIVEN SPACE THREE TIMES THE HEIGHT OF THE DOG AT THE SHOULDER.

Dogs who like pillows may be accommodated if you sleep on your side with the legs scissored so that each dog has an ankle for a chin rest.

Above all, BEWARE OF CURLING! When the curl is reversed, both dogs are dislocated, resulting in low growls on both sides of you. When you are ready to add a cat, position is all important. All cats prefer to sleep in hollows, but NO CAT WILL SLEEP ON THE SAME SIDE AS A DOG. (Remember, you have only two sides). YOU MUST THEREFORE BECOME A TRIANGLE! Do this by assuming a horizontal diver's crouch, thereby creating not only three more-or less exclusive sides but two hollows as well. With one dog at your front, and the other against your back, the cat can curl into the hollow at the back of your bent knees, separated from both dogs. All will then sleep soundly.

This entire technique still needs a lot of refinement. A method that deals with early morning scratching needs to be developed, and the problem of pretending to sleep while being closely scrutinized by various animals needs to be solved."

(Thanks to Author Unknown for this one - if you know the author, tell me, then I can let my vast readership know.)

... and keep those frugal suggestions coming in! (see previous post)

The Common Shrew & Canny Savings

2009-06-04T15:40:00.012+10:00

Yes, shrews care too.

Inspired by some ideas spotted by my Assistant Shrew in a Melbourne, Oz, newspaper, this blog is publicly joining the fight for frugality.

Well, O.K., actually it was one idea, sent in by someone who would have won the $50 prize hands down if The C S had been judging.

Here's what she said:

'McWilliams Cream Sherry is $17 a flagon. One small nip an evening delays me having to put the central heating on by up to an hour.'

Carmel, I like your style, but just can't compete. However I do find that a warm dog placed in the bed half an hour before retiring removes the need to purchase electric blankets or hot-water bottles or use energy to heat a kettle full of water. One greyhound is ideal but more may be added if desired*. A cat may be substituted if no dogs are available.

The Shrew welcomes any creative contributions to the battle to save money while saving the earth. Bear in mind, gentle reader, that any suggestion likely to startle horses or cause affright to small children or animals will disappear, never to be seen in these pages.

* NB: Do not take this step lightly! Greyhounds are like tattoos. Once you've got one you want more ....

Microfleece Madonna Manifests at Dish-licker Day out

2009-05-18T21:57:00.016+10:00

This captivating creature was captured on film by Murphy's Dad
as she worked the crowd at a recent greyhound adoption promotion.
You can see more hounds at Murphy's Law : greeting camels, patiently
being mauled by babies and living up to their reputation
as intelligent, peaceful and gentle dogs.

If all this gives you hound-envy and you want one of your own
to adore in a way that will probably make both of you
end up looking ridiculous, see the information-rich
Greyhound Adoption Programme of Queensland site,
or contact the greyhound adoption organisation where you live,
and give one of these gentle and affectionate dogs a good home.

Tatting: No. 4 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'.

2009-05-09T21:50:00.013+10:00

The position of the little finger marks this pursuit as suitable for Ladies.
You don't have to be born in the USA for this one, but apparently it helps
as the source of the instruction sheet:-
http://www.morninggloryantiques.com/collectTatting.html
and this:-
http://www.victoriana.com/Embroidery/tatting.htm
(from which the following illustration is taken),
demonstrate ...

Y'all have a fine time now!

Mr Stick Gives a Girl That Smile

2009-04-27T11:00:00.008+10:00

Mr Stick transcends the problems of time travel
and with his straight-up shtick makes this girl's bananas curl!
Want to embrace your inner stick? Just go to http://misterstick.blogspot.com/

Want to know more about Josephine Baker?
Just double click her name.

Meanwhile this'll put you in the picture ...

sixty-nine
Josephine Baker 3 June 1906 - 8 April 1975

'Hot damn' they said
'hot damn look at that old gal go'
and her knocking their socks off
like she did in the old days.

Didn't know what skirt meant
till she bared her buttocks
in that fruit loop getup.
Oh boy that banana dance!

And you remember - you must remember
that crazy guy - who was it now
shot himself right there
right there at her gold kid feet.

The punters, the nazis, the bosses, the bigots
didn't she lead them all a merry dance
right from St Louis Social Evil Hospital
- now ain't that the place to be born -

to La Salpetriere Paris, where the bad girls die
and just days before she'd had them sighing:
'that Nefertiti that clown that ebony orchid'
Man was she some 'uppity coloured girl'.

©Ynes Sanz
from 'Fanny the Flying Housewife' an unpublished collection of 40 poems
for mad and magnificent women

Eurythmics: No.3 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'

2009-04-24T16:46:00.011+10:00

That this wondrously expressive hobby
exists at all is thanks to Monsieur Dalcroze
whose works and thoughts can be found at
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/21653/21653-h/21653-h.htm

Don't Try This At Home

2009-04-19T10:24:00.007+10:00

Yes, I too was a child in the 1950s. All my mother could afford was pointed sticks ...

Topiary: No. 2 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'

2009-04-16T09:31:00.007+10:00

This topiary woman found at the unpredictable Nothing to do with Arbroath

On Getting Off Your Case

2009-04-11T00:03:00.007+10:00

This cartoon by Don Addis

Herbert

2009-04-01T23:28:00.008+10:00

This image is called 'Herbert'. It's by a German artist called Michael Sowa.

i like to think
it's true
what they say
that people grow
to look like their pets
why do you think
i own a greyhound
and besides
it's hard
to get a collar and lead
on a shrew

ys

Yarnbombing: No. 1 in an occasional series entitled 'Harmless Hobbies for Mad Old Bags'

2009-03-10T14:48:00.037+10:00

This Knitting-covered bus is from a story in the UK Telegraph newspaper at
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4305406/Knitters-turn-to-%20graffiti-artists-with-yarnbombing.html

While these knitted beanies on a Banksy are from a post at
http://www.oberholtzer-creative.com/visualculture/2009/01/yarn-bombing/

Women say 'knickers' to violence

2009-03-06T22:58:00.014+10:00

Meanwhile, in the faraway city of Bangalore, India, women going about their business are being subjected to random but sustained violent attacks by fundamentalist Hindu males.

Proudly claiming the description of 'A consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women' these women have caught the attention of the world for the chutzpah with which they are organising a campaign to defend themselves and 'say nyaaah to infringements on (their) constitutional rights' and 'nyaaah to any threats of violence'.

See more at http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/

Interior with Hound

2009-03-01T10:05:00.014+10:00

I think I could turn and live with animals,
they are so placid and self-contained,

I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth.
So they show their relations to me and I accept them,
They bring me tokens of myself, they evince them plainly in their possession.
I wonder where they get those tokens,
Did I pass that way huge times ago and negligently drop them?

Walt Whitman - Song of Myself (extract)

Australia's Day of Mourning

2009-02-22T13:58:00.009+10:00

Those who have died by fire
those who have died under fire
those who have died under water
who have died under duress
who have died from violence
who have died from alcohol or accident
who have died from drugs or dementia
who have died from not being ready for this world
who have died from being too awake to the world
who have died by another hand
who have died lending a hand
who have died helping a mate
who have died unable to help themselves
those who died tired at the end
those who had barely any beginning
all these and more
today and tomorrow and tomorrow
we will remember to remember.

©Ynes Sanz 2009

Separated at Birth #2 : Shrew Dog Shrew Dog Shrew etc

2008-12-29T17:31:00.011+10:00

Exhibit 1: The Noble Hound at its favourite pastime, here seen in a rare moment of dreamless sleep

Exhibit 2: The Common Shrew at its favourite pastime, here seen eating ants' eggs

Common shrew feeding on ants` eggsAndy R ouse / www.nhpa.co.uk

Remark the delicate profile and dedication to the task which these endearing creatures share ...

Separated at Birth #1 : The Common Shrew in its natural habitat

2008-12-06T14:21:00.004+10:00

Common shrew - overviewGranada Wild

2008-12-05T09:56:00.003+10:00

Grumpy Grannie grinds her teeth

Dental Neglect a scandal in Australian Nursing Homes
Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard says the Government will make sure that reports of dental health neglect in nursing homes are investigated. (From ABC News online - see link below)

When facilities like nursing homes ( and childcare centres too but don't get me started on that !) became investments for big business like insurance companies, retailers etc instead of being run by people who had some interest and expertise in the actual field - and wash my mouth out for mentioning compassion - then the almighty dollar dictated stingy staff hours, minimal qualifications poor care, less interest and cruel games: "what no fresh fruit to eat? - I'm sure it was on the table when the visitors were here" etc etc

Anyone who has ever been inside a nursing home in any capacity can tell a swag of similar stories.

Let's start telling all of these stories out loud instead of sharing shocked whispers.

Good on you Dr Rogers.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/12/05/2438477.htm

2008-12-03T19:59:00.004+10:00

The origins of the species

Even the most voracious and bloodthirsty shrew must begin as a small pink bean, cared for, licked over and, all being well, uneaten by its mother.

In this illustration we see a small healthy specimen at that young stage described by snake wranglers as 'a fuzzy'. Closer examination will reveal a facial expression which shows endearing shrewly promise.

No record remains of the volume of worms eaten at this stage.

This individual was observed to steal dog biscuits. It is a matter of speculation how this affected its later development.

2008-12-01T15:23:00.001+10:00

Common Shrew

There are some of us
for whom the choice is simple:
bite or be beaten.

Feeling small,
we rush open-jawed
to eat the enemy.

Please try to understand,
it is only fear that makes us want
to feel the heat of your blood inside us.

Do not begrudge us this comfort.
It’s not easy to be so finely wrought,
and armed with such a flimsy philosophy.

© Ynes Sanz 2005